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Dave Cuzner's Match Preview

The Lumberjacks
of Layer Tennis

At the beginning of Johnny Cash’s “Lumberjack,” taken from the “Ride This Train” LP, he describes a train ride to a rough town filled with loggers that looked like Paul Bunyan. You know the kind: the working class hero. Ax-wielding, bearded, burly men donning flannel shirts and devouring large fluffy pancakes.

Our two contestants today come from that same tradition. They're tough as nails, but don't need to prove it. Sure they could crack a man's spine, but they would rather just enjoy a nice glass of water and mellow out with a popsicle. On one corner, we have Aaron James Draplin. He has skin made of Carhartt and once destroyed a small village for using Blippo Bold. He likes log typography, ham radio cards and gold toe socks. On the other we have Chris Glass who wrestles with porcupines bare chested and rides coyotes to work. He likes subtlety and Budweiser. These two recently collaborated on a project commissioned by the White House. They were called on to design logos for the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act (ARRA) and the Transportation Investment Generating Economic Recovery (Tiger). Both of which are economic recovery programs.

I spoke with Aaron and Chris before the match in the hopes of some serious trash talking, but these two had nothing but love for each other. I kept it short because I could sense a serious man hug coming on.

Heres what they had to say:

Aaron:

When I got the call for possibly the "biggest logo gig of my pitiful life," (which tearfully I'm not at liberty to discuss, due to matters of national security) nothing set me at ease more than hearing Chris Glass would be rolling up his sleeves on the project too. Serious firepower. The guy's a top-notch creative, American Patriot and all around Ohio gentleman who's got the guts to lead and most importantly, a gentle amicability that wins over even the toughest customers. Plus, he knows the best spot for meatloaf in Cincinnati.

I'm a little sad we have to "battle" tomorrow as, now that we've worked together, I feel more like a brother than some kind of digital adversary. Know this though, when he serves tomorrow, it's on, and I'm going to go ape shit. Whichever way that goes, I'm just glad to be in the ring with Chris Glass. I'm a fan, man.

To the viewers: Be on yer toes. That's a warning from the DDC.

Chris:

If you're looking for me to throw down a gauntlet or bark like some wrestler before the match, I ain't gonna do it. Draplin's a stand-up character and I consider it an honor to be stepping on to the Layer Tennis court with him. Beneath all that cussing and his gruff exterior lies the heart of a true patriot of the design profession. Now don't get me wrong, I still plan to shake things up and down the line... Put some spin on the ball that ain't slathered in orange ink or stamped with Futura. I plan to keep him on his toes, mix up some yang with his yin, and squint right back over the virtual net and make this game intense as it is fun. Hopefully at the end of the day, we'll have a little awesome on our hands.

Chris won the log toss, so he will be going first. Gentlemen, let the match commence!

This match is best viewed with an accent and a beard. Additional/optional listening: Monty Python's "The Lumberjack Song"

Play by play commentary for this match is provided, as it happens, by Dave Cuzner.

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