This Match: J. Hutchinson VS. J. Koxvold
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Season Finale Match 2 Preview

Fear and Loathing
in Paris

Edward Tufte can suck my ass. All you self-righteous open-standard 4.0 web gurus should twitter me a picture of your iPhone’s iPhone from Self by SelfObsessed, just so I’ll have more proof you’re morons.

What do you know about design? Carson Kressley has done ten times more to promote the good and the beautiful in this world, and at least his sanctimonious side makes me laugh.

Are the new viewers gone? Last time I started out a match insulting the designers in the audience, I got hate mail. I want more. It contained the most delicious misspellings.

So there is my war cry, hear me type. We're all warmongers now, that's the great thing about being an American, so let us have a battle, a championship match about nothing played while our country is at war. In today's match two contenders will fight with brio and blood for your esteem, and maybe also your wallet should you care to hire them to redesign your mortgage-resale brochures. They both come cheap. They need the work. Not joking.

May I introduce: the improbably named Jason Koxvold (thank you, Coudal, for feeding me that one) and the unknown James Hutchinson—unknown to me, because he won't answer my emails, who knows why. Perhaps I shouldn't have asked him to record an mp3 voiceover praising my sex value.

But I did talk to Jason. The conversation went sort of like this, last week, his place.

"You're really good looking," I laughed. I wasn't being sarcastic.

"I'm married," he said. "Do you mind?"

I chipped a tooth on a beer. "So what's up with the other guy?"

"Who, Hooch?"

"You call him Hooch?" We were doing push-ups by that point.

"Boof. Dude's British."

"Why can't Coudal ever get women to participate in these things?"


That's Kox in a nut. Or not: Koxvold's in fact a very good designer, and as for Hutchinson, it's safe to say he's a very good artist. People, jokes on pause, I woke up this morning so angry about Iraq and our current President my hands are still twitching, and it's difficult to be serious about anything involving pixels. So let's have fun. Fuck it. It's Friday, I'm in Paris, you live somewhere wonderful, The Wire still has a few episodes to go and in some corner of the world somebody loves you. There's my war cry, and I'm sticking to it, even if it probably was on a movie poster once.

Go Obama.


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Live Match Blog

Congratulations to Mig Reyes, Layer Tennis Season 3 Champion. jc-12.20

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