Volley 5 by James Hutchinson
Preview   Volleys:  1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10

Play-By-Play Commentary

Gas Face

Not content to be your typical googly-eyed amorphic black mass, this new dude thinks he's Jim Carrey or something. Apparently the skull cotton plant grows instantly, but takes at least 15 minutes to reach its next stage.

Would you have ever guessed an hour ago that you'd be sitting with bated breath awaiting a showdown between two blobs? Never a dull moment here at Layer Tennis. Well, only fourteen out of fifteen moments are dull, anyway. I think James' blob is going to get his ass kicked, if he has an ass. In fact, I bet the plant takes him down. Man, I'm enjoying this.

Soundtrack to this volley: Those are the faces I make when I hear that ubiqitous current Gwen Stefani song. You know, the Wooo-oo, Wheee-oo! one that you always hear at Torrid while your wife is trying stuff on (though not the sluttier, punkier stuff you wish she'd try on) and the sales girls are playing with your daughter, so you're not really sure why you're there, but there's something about the fact that every mall in America has a plus-size girls' punk rock clothing store that makes you happy, even if it's a sort of shitty plus-size girls' punk rock clothing store that would even consider playing a Gwen Stefani song.

Play by play commentary for this match is provided, as it happens, by Bryan Bedell.


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