The Return by Brian Taylor
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Play-By-Play Commentary

Fawn Of The Dead

Well, that took a turn for the gruesome. Volley two and I'm already skeeved.

Few things in this world unsettle as surely as a fond childhood memory subtly skewed toward the sinister. Think of clown. Now think of a clown with a knife. Now think of a clown with a knife and an UNQUENCHABLE THIRST FOR BLOOD! Oh, I'm so glad I walked myself through the thought-experiment. Now I won't be able to sleep for a week.

Brian knows the recipe. Take bambi*. Add fangs. Let them weep gore. And make 'em smile, to underscore the cognitive dissonance.

(* Private to Disney: "bambi" is the plural of "bamb," a legendary fanged deer, and in no way infringes upon your trademark.)

I love how Brian mopped up the blood. Perhaps this match will unfold Memento style, with each volley showing the events the proceeded the former. Two hell-fawns stroll onto the scene; by nightfall the landscape is drenched in blood. Perhaps Jason will flash us back to the lab, where the mad geneticist who cooked up these beasts releases them from their incubation tanks ... and immediately pays the price for his meddling with nature.

The sharp contrast in styles bodes well for a lively match. This won't be a series of subtly altered images. This will be a fight for domination.

Play by play commentary for this match is provided, as it happens, by Matthew Baldwin.


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