Volley 3 by Naz Hamid
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Play-By-Play Commentary

Let’s Hold Hands

Have you heard of Flat Stanley? Let me tell you a story.

Flat Stanely is a school project somewhat like an STD but with more warm fuzzies. Children around the world download a Flat Stanley template, write a journal for a little while, and then send along Stanley and the journal to someone else, as though he's a guest who needs to be taken care of and passed along.

(Flat Stanley is that guy glued to the TV, by the way.)

I don't know about you, but I think it's rude to ship my houseguests off to other homes, including a report card on why I wanted to get rid of them, but never mind. I obviously don't get it. Read this testimonial from a satisfied Flat Stanley project participant:

When Pam got sick with cancer, Douglas sent her a Flat Stanley via fax as a get well card. When I went the last time to see her she was in and out of confusion. But, as I sat there and held her hand, she opened up her eyes and smiled and said "Flat Stanley, huh." Her involvement with Flat Stanley really meant a lot to her.

When I got home yesterday, I had to break the news that Pam had died. She was 58. Douglas said, "I know what I'm going to do." "What?," I asked. He said "I'm going to make a Flat Stanley for Pam's grave for her to take with her."

So you be the judge. A dull reply, all concept and no finesse, or a trick of depraved sickness? Naz says to Chris, you want to piss on my art? Fine. But you're the one who has to tell Douglas about it, you perv.

Touché.

Play by play commentary for this match is provided, as it happens, by Rosecrans Baldwin.


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